Sometimes, you just have to take a moment to pause, reflect, refocus, and recalibrate your perspective on life relative to where you are in your personal growth, maturation, and development. Good, bad, or indifferent, life happens, and when it does, it will always be accompanied by change. If there’s one truth that I’ve learned about change is that, other than the love of God, it’s the only thing that always remains constant in life.
In much of the same way that we experience a change in seasons as the Earth rotates on its axis around the Sun, our human experience causes us to experience seasonal changes as we live through periods of transition, shifting, increase, and decrease. These periods of change and transition always come to teach us about who we are by challenging us in ways that serve us by facilitating our growth in certain areas while cultivating our character and integrity in others.
These periods of change can present a tremendous opportunity for us to grow in the truth of who we’re created to be, if we remain open to the process and allow ourselves to not become complacent as we work our way through to the other side. In these periods of transition, we’ll be presented with opportunities to stretch ourselves beyond the limitations of our current mindset so that we can experience authentic growth in every area of our lives.
“Pause and Reflect…”
I recently experienced yet another one of these periods of transition in my life; this one lasted about two months. I learned a lot about myself during this transition; specifically, as it relates to my growth as a woman and as a wife. I came to the realization that if I wanted to get better, I had to be better.
I decided to step away from everything that I perceived to be a distraction so that I could gain clarity about what aspects of my mindset weren’t supporting the kind of thoughts that would produce the level of change that I wanted to manifest in my life so that I could make whatever adjustments necessary to propel me forward, uninhibitedly and unapologetically.
I wanted to go forth and be unburdened and unbothered by the things that tripped me up before. I wanted the next season of my life to be better, and I was committed to making the changes that I needed to make. At that point, I still had my God, my husband, my family, my health, and a select group of true friends, so, as far as I was concerned, I was still winning. Realizing that truth was enough to motivate me to keep moving forward.
“Refocus Your Thoughts…”
Prior to that period of transition, I’d allowed myself to become bogged down by all the stuff that had accumulated in my mind, in my heart, and in my spirit as byproducts of my life’s experiences since my last period of transition. It felt as if everything that was going on in the world, in my community, and in my home started to weigh me down in such a way that left me feeling depleted and unable to be fully-present in the most important part of my life—my marriage.
That’s when I began to feel a shift happening within; telling me that I needed to get really clear with myself about exactly what I need to have in my life at that time so that I could be the best version of myself, from that moment forward. Then, I knew I had to take a few steps back to identify ways to strike the balance between my roles as a wife…mother…daughter…sister…friend…confidant…businesswoman…etc….etc…so that I could be restored in a way that would allow me to reconnect with my true, authentic self.
Ladies, the key to surviving the seasonal changes and the periods of transition that will arise in life is balance. Balance is the one thing that unifies the most important aspect of who we are internally with everything that’s connected to us externally. Finding that place of balance is a tough because it’s so easy for it to become obscured by our own misunderstanding of its function in maintaining healthy relationships with ourselves as well as with others.
“Recalibrate Your Perspective…”
The truth of the matter is that seasons change and that periods of transition will come in our lives. When they do, we must check-in with ourselves to assess where we are as we live through those periods of change and transition, regardless of how we feel while living through the process. Doing so will help us to remain open and receptive while embracing the process that we must endure as we grow, mature, and develop into more complete versions of ourselves.
As women, we bring something that is unique, valuable, and irreplaceable to the institution of marriage. If only we remained true to who we are after we get married as opposed to projecting an image of what others think we should be after we say “I do…” it would be easier for us to identify with our authentic view of who we are with respect to how we see and define ourselves in our role as a wife because we’d see the essence of who we are versus our thoughts about what other people think about the image we should project, which would empower us to define what it means to be a wife based solely on our perception of how we see ourselves in that role. It’s all relative…it’s all a matter of perspective.
Perhaps the most important lesson that I learned during this season of change in my life is that if I want to change my perspective (outlook) on my life, I must first change my mindset (thought process). Now I understand the importance of striking and maintaining a healthy balance between each role that I play in my life and that no one is responsible for my happiness except me, I feel even more empowered to be the best…most authentic version of myself that I can be in every aspect of my life while encouraging you to do the same.
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